A Peaceful, Dark Place

by No Fixed Star

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Rowan Crothers
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Rowan Crothers This EP is damn good. Worth checking out for sure. Favorite track: Redwoods.
Brad
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Brad This song speaks to me on a whole other level. Favorite track: Redwoods.
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1.
03:14
2.
03:07
3.
03:52
4.
03:18
5.
05:22

credits

released March 17, 2016

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Scott Goodrich at Nu-Tone Studios in Pittsburg, CA.

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No Fixed Star Pleasanton, California

late night jams

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Track Name: Compass
a momentary lapse of confidence
has drawn me in by parallax
and wrecked me on your shores

a lack of judgement draws me out
a wandering bark beyond the pines
is pulling me away from home
Track Name: Redwoods
tucking in the folds
making space to breathe
holding back replies

every simple move
seemingly at ease
rehearsed neurotically

every common choice
ordinary thought
questioned a thousand times

a shade of pain
a simple glance
caught in unending time

wading through black water
with words caught on my lips
all the thoughts I took to writing out
that couldn’t raise the dead
while we’re balancing on rafters
on frames above the depths
all the minor characters from our past
are taking center stage in the final act
with knives in hand

the sickle swings
the pendulum of your deciet
i'm breathing
through soaking sheets
this filtered air is my defeat
the song is swelling in the Thrush's breast
the sound of your confession
never to be heard again
keep longing
nothing's coming

all their paper masks
and unfeeling hands
passing collecting plates
reaching towards the Lamb
rewriting ledger books
under the bed
letting these filial debts
haunt my father’s death
keep longing
nothing’s coming

i’ll disappear into the redwoods
with canvas and coal
i’ve held out in the wilds
one hundred years alone

caught up in a country
a current, an undertow
in memories, in moments past
with breaking limbs we row
Track Name: Malamute
if i need to breathe i will
if i had some time to kill
i’d paint your brother here
just as he is
slipping through your arms

you slur, “Los Angeles”
cut your teeth on vapid love
nourishing as the thought of peace
in a winter trench
by the river Somme

you speak in low, hushed tones
and ramble on about
the things you know
you’ve become the tired likeness
of your mother’s love
without the nurturing touch

your bloodhounds comb the night
your mortar’s taking flight
you’re marching single file
right through my square
singing, “hallelujah”

you swung your bayonet
with a martyr hanging
from your neck
you were a song
in the Sunday choir
a voice in the reeds
drifting west

that humid summer day
butchered any real memory
as they washed your sins away
and wet your hair to bible black

your death, decaying smile
god, I wish you’d just stay a while
I thought we spend the night
pulling frequency
from the western front

i want see them made
before they were ashamed
crawling up the city streets
Adam and Eve sweating out the drugs

howitzer shakes the ground
fragments shatter light and bone
i dreamt you were in bed
and caught my ghost
slipping through your chest

your atrium collapsed
reticulated steps
that led to where you slept
went stretching out
looking for a room

a whimpering howl comes out
as hell comes raining down
reduced to pawing floors
and patient trust
sweet malamute

and while snow covers us
from inside your father’s truck
voices through FM waves
tell us to run
and wish us luck

a peaceful, dark place
a little air to breathe
a corner of the world
that’s all we’re looking for
Track Name: Summerset
a dark drive home
through evergreen northwestern woes
you thought had cleared came ‘round

calming electric heat
the whir of a rain soaked road
the lull, the peace of giving up
of moving on but never letting go

life isn't it what you planned
a car in the shop, an ordered part
a quiet room for rent, a waiting job
a journal filling up with lonely thoughts

like rose of sharon alone
we’re tethered here by one another
circling each at separate ends
moving on but never letting go

driving slow by your old house
it’s boarded up and holds no warmth
soon another coffee shop
where churches meet
where exes talk

not much has changed without you
our names are still there
craved into dogwood tree
above the cemetery
that your brother never leaves

lets hope the tides will turn one day
and that your body
doesn’t wash in with them
cold and blue

driving slow by your old house
it’s boarded up and filled with ghosts
the shutters sway, the gutters hang
the walls are steeped in memory

so much has changed without you
your name is still there
tattooed across his arm
as you tight rope the one with headphones on
tonight you'll dream somebody loves you
all hope and harm
like every song you take to heart
until you realize

there’s a prose poem in everything
a structured verse to how we move
and if you read it line-by-line
a rhythm starts to form
meaning comes to you
Track Name: Lorelai
if you find yourself alone
at some bar with envy
and anxiety pinning in you place
holding you against the wall
behind a crowded knot of limbs
all breaking their bones in thirst
all biting nails to bone
all filling the space of someones’ ghost
wait for me

chances are
i’m not too far behind
that i’m the broken body next to yours
the face of a thousand men before
that you’re only a one more in me
St. John will carry us home tonight
wandering down the crooked streets
through the places that we use to meet
i’m starting to understand
i caught you almost taking flight
and whispering to the waning moon
last night, and
willing it beneath the western world

i held the tide at bay
as it swelled around your shaking legs
pushed it all inside of me
to lift your sinking mood
and ease the pain

i see you now,
i’ve watched you run with wolves
caught glimpses of you
blurring between the winter trees
but then i turn around
and i
find you sleeping in our single bed
with dirt beneath your fingernails
just laughing in a dream

let’s build a home, let’s move up north
let’s leave our principles
our problems
and our parents’ homes
we’ll never pay it off
never pass it on

let’s find something else entire
until were torn in two
completely devastated by the way
we are
the pain we hide inside

but never wander, lose our course
like wounded birds lost in a storm

// // // //

When summer ends
and invitations send
and all your loved ones write
to wish you well
and sign off with a psalm
i’ll wait with you
i hoped you never dress in black
or lay a flower on a cask

When winter moves
through holes in cloths
bury yourself in blankets
by a thousand books
I'll wait with you

So maybe lets stay in tonight
forget about this suffering
and save it for a better time
a better place
to forget that nothing in this world
was made to last
and there
in a slow dance
can become each others'
missing step